Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Guest Blogger: Jenny Gardiner and a Book Giveaway

I am just thrilled that Jenny Gardiner, author of SLEEPING WITH WARD CLEAVER, agreed to write a guest blog for me! I absolutely adored SLEEPING WITH WARD CLEAVER -- you can read my review here. As you can clearly see, Ms. Gardiner is a hoot and she truly understands us women-folk!

Of Mice and Men

I heard a radio interview recently in which an author was promoting her new book about sex. Sorry, I haven’t the slightest idea of the title of the book. But I did get a good laugh when she talked about a few studies in which researchers tested rats (or was it mice?) while they were getting it on.

Now first off, there is something particularly unseemly about being a voyeur to rat fornication. On so many levels. Not the least of which is because rodents having sex means even more rodents on the horizon. And those rodents will then repeat this wildly reproductive behavior, and so on, and so on. Having fended off my share of mouse infestations over the years, I believe that anything involving insidious rodent procreation should be vigorously avoided at all costs.

But also, there’s a very strong ick factor involved. Little teeny rats (or worse yet, bloated possum-sized black ones like from the movie Ben) doing it in a laboratory simply elicits a sense of repulsion in me. Especially when I learned that one of the tests the scientists performed involved the rats donning polyester pants---miniature rodent disco-wear---so that they could determine the effect of polyester on sperm count.

I wonder who drew the short straw to have to count the rat sperm? And probably worse yet, who had to ensure there was rat sperm to count? I know I'd have volunteered immediately to whip up a few hundred pair of the tiny pants on my sewing machine at home---far, far away from the lab---thus assiduously avoiding those other menial tasks. Though I do love the idea of watching researchers with PhDs hoisting plaid polyester pants onto rat bodies, securing them with Jethro Bodine-like rope ties at the waist.

By the way, in case you were wondering, polyester did in fact decrease sperm count. So there you go, Tony Manero Rat. Disco must be dead for a reason.

But the test I especially enjoyed learning about involved the little buggers in the midst of mousely mating (in the heat of passion, if there is such thing as rodent ardor), only to have the scientists introduce a diversion.

You see, there the mice/rats/whatever were, in lock-and-load mode, when the researchers dropped in some yummy cheese to see what would happen. While the boy rats just kept on doing the nasty, the girl rats? Well, consider it the "filing-your-nails-while-in-the-missionary-position" tactic. Yes, they were far more girls interested in chomping cheese than getting some lovin' from their man. They walked away in flagranto delicto in favor of in flagranto delicious! Talk about coitus interruptus! All for a little Velveeta. I don’t know about any other women out there, but I think I’d have held out for something a little more upscale. Say, a chocolate soufflé with crème anglaise sauce.

Nevertheless, I think those researchers were onto something. And if it takes luring vulnerable girl rats away from their paramours to prove it, well, then, so be it.

Because I suspect we human females have something in common with our rodent cousins. And it's not whiskers (as long as there's waxing, tweezing and electrolysis at our disposal), nor twitching pink noses, and certainly not creepy snake-like tails. None of that. We don't particularly crave cheese either. Except perhaps those women who eschew carbs and then what’s left to eat but cheese?

What we do share is this: females don't want a wham-bam-thank-you-rat experience. They want to be wooed. Wined and dined, made to feel wanted, to feel as if they are the most important thing in the world to their man. Sure, any old creature can get it on. But copulation without representation is not the goal. Well, you know what I mean: sex without passion, without amore, without a modicum of emotion, or (dare I say) adoration, and certainly respect. I'd say most of us would settle for the cheese over that and tell that dirty rat “Good day, mate.” Most days, at any rate.

Any old rodent can have a quickie on the petrie dish (that would be the rat version of doing it on the kitchen table). But when it comes to the long haul, perhaps a lot of men can learn from this rat survey, and figure out how to appeal to the cheese-lover in their woman.

If you are interested in winning an autographed copy of SLEEPING WITH WARD CLEAVER, please leave a comment here telling me why you think you'd enjoy this book. Comments will be accepted until Friday, June 6th at 11:59 p.m. EST. I'm sorry, but this contest is open to US and Canadian citizens only. The winner will be announced on June 7th -- good luck!

30 comments:

Bree said...

This book sounds hilarious. And just like your review stated what mom/wife hasn't experienced some of the items mentioned. I would love to win a copy.

Karin said...

Love a book that can make me laugh!
Please enter me in your drawing. Thank you.

Stacie said...

I am very interested in this book. My sister just left my brother-in-law after 20 years of marriage and I DO NOT want that to happen to our marriage. I am closing in on 10 years and am doing everything I can to keep that "zing" in our life as often as possible. Pick me! Pick me for the free copy!

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

I guarantee you guys will love it ;-) (that's a bold statement, isn't it?!). Thanks for having me as a guest, Julie!

tammy said...

Loved your review on this book. It sounds like a great book. I can't wait to read it. Thanks for having Ms. Gardiner as a guest blogger - I couldn't stop laughing.

LisaMM said...

I love cheese, LOL

Very funny post! Thanks, Jenny!

Karlie said...

I'm in my first year of marriage and this book sounds hilarious! A light read is just what I need.

Joan said...

This book sounds like a great vacation read. Please sign me up for your contest.

Anonymous said...

Ewww! I think I heard the same interview about rats and sex. The book in question, I believe, is Bonk, by Mary Roach. Anyway, after that discussion, I need something a little lighter to read. Sign me up for the contest, please!

Cheryl said...

Great guest to have on your blog. Enjoyed reading.


Please enter me. I have heard good things about this book.

Thanks Cheryl

clbstitch at yahoo dot com

Chain Reader said...

Sounds great!

Amy said...

I love a good laugh and I think i would really enjoy this book, even if I can't relate to the theme exactly. :)

Anonymous said...

I need this book! Lol, thanks for the entry!

Anna said...

It's been awhile since I read a book that made me laugh. I'd love to read this one!

ReadingIsSoMuchFun said...

After reading about the book I know I would enjoy it. This sounds like a very good book that will have me giggling while I read it. I love a good laugh out loud read please enter me.

Hugssss
LindaH

Julie Lessman said...

Oh my, would I love to win this book!! Why? Because the author is a hoot and the title is one of the best I have ever heard. Sign me up!!

Thanks Booking Mama and Jenny for offering this contest.

Hugs,
Julie

gsus at charter dot net

RachaelfromNJ said...

I'd love to win this book. Please enter me! :)

RachaelfromNJ said...

Oh I forgot to say why I want to win the book! LOL It sounds really funny and like something I'd really enjoy.

Rashmi said...

This book is a hoot and I'm so glad I got to review it.

Don't count me in for the giveaway, just wanted to let you know I posted this. Thanks for the heads-up!

Hope you get lots of entries!

A Book Blogger's Diary

Rashmi said...

Oh, and I included a link to your review in my review post as well! Cheers.

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

Wow! Rashmi! I am really honored! Thank you SO much for your fabulous review--and to compare me to Evanovich is beyond awesome!
I really appreciate all of your support!

windycindy said...

Greetings! I have read many good things about this book. I love the cover! I agree with the premise of the book immensely! Humor is always a big plus. Please enter me in your delightful book drawing. Many thanks, Cindi
jchoppes[at]hotmail[dot]com

Anonymous said...

This looks to be quite a funny book that will lighten my day -- count me in the drawing!

jezebelsk said...

I've read several positive reviews of this book - it just sounds so darned entertaining! I've already added it to my wishlist, but winning it would be super-fabulous! I can't wait to read it either way! Thanks for the giveaway!

dh said...

This is the second positive review I've seen on this book. It sounds interesting and fun. Please enter me in your giveaway, I'd like to try this author out.

Tara said...

Oh this book sounds fabulous! The title alone makes me want to read it and I need some humour in my life!

photoquest said...

I hope this drawing is still open. I would love to be in the drawing for this book, sounds hilarious!

photoquest said...

forgot to leave my email.photoquest@bellsouth.net

tetewa said...

ntyxvI'd love to read a good book to make me laugh and this one sounds like it would. Count me in! tWarner419@aol.com

Sleeping with Ward Cleaver said...

thanks again for having me as a guest and congrats Bree! The book is on its way. If any of you does read it please let me know what you think--I love to hear from readers!